The My Story section within the Meet Jordan page of my website details my journey and how I became a coach, but this focuses on what provided the final push for me: my kids.
Are you wishing your days away due to work, looking forward to when things will be “better,” maybe to when you’re more financially secure or when you reach the high-ranking position at work you’ve always wanted? Or on a smaller scale, are you delaying contentment or enjoyment until when things “slow down” at work, or until the next vacation you're so looking forward to? This approach undoubtedly sets you up for disappointment when the future arrives, and it isn’t everything you had hoped it would be. You’d been conditioning yourself with the mindset of not enjoying the present up to that point, so why would that all of the sudden reverse? You've also put so much pressure on the future to live up to the great expectations you've created in your mind. Maybe it does turn out to be everything you had hoped for, but what about all of the days you “fast-forwarded” through, looking ahead to the future? Wishing your days away is a powerful cautionary warning, in and of itself. But even more powerful is looking through the perspective that wishing your days away is also wishing “their” days away, which in my case, were my kids' days.
When each of my kids was born, countless people told me, “They [kids] grow up fast, enjoy every moment.” I wanted to live that as best as I could, and having a career that I loved, that gave me energy, that played to my strengths, that I looked forward to each day would give me the best opportunity to enjoy every day and provide me with the foundation to be the best father I could be, while also fulfilling my financial and professional ambitions. Imagining the person I would show up as for my kids, under those circumstances, was exciting. I would be the person I wanted to be and the father my kids deserve. It made me excited for the future because I would be able to enjoy every day right now, not 10 years in the future, when 10 years of my kids’ lives had already passed, having wished their days away! Juxtapose that to what I was experiencing professionally at the time, which was bringing the stress and worry home with me, letting the anxiety creep into the time I spent with them, during the week and on the weekends, not allowing me to be present and truly enjoy my time with them.
Achieving the above certainly does not require a career change. In my case, if I had had the benefit of working with a coach while in the financial services industry, things would have been drastically different, and for the better. However, I realized coaching was my true passion, and also leveraged my prior work experience, so it made sense for me. For most, however, it means staying with their current organization, but clarifying exactly what they want out of their career, what their ideal role looks like, what their ideal workday and weekend look like, uncovering what makes their job so energy depleting, overwhelming or stressful to them, leveraging their strengths, and embracing a mindset of confidence. Further, oftentimes, what makes a job so depleting, stressful, and overwhelming has more to do with the person than it does the job, itself. And those pain points usually are not isolated to their current job and will continue to follow them to their next job and also remain present in their personal life if they are not addressed.
Oftentimes, people will procrastinate or never take action if it’s for themselves. But, if it’s for the benefit of others, they have the motivation and drive they need to take action. For me, it was my kids (and wife, Jacquie, of course😊). Maybe it’s the same for you, or maybe it's your aging parents whom you want to cherish every last moment with. Maybe it's your spouse, who you are so grateful for, but you haven't been the partner he/she deserves and the partner you want to be because you've been so overwhelmed by work.
No matter who it is, don’t wish their days away, as well. Don’t they deserve that you take action now, and not some unknown date in the future that may or may not ever come? Let them be your motivation to improve yourself and your situation. Let’s bring to you now more of what you want, and work towards a future that truly excites you. You deserve it, and so do the people around you that care about you most.
Visit www.jordantepfer.com to learn more about how we might work together to make it happen!
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